How to Build Resilience as a Therapist, Coach or Healer

This week I’m joined on the podcast by Kate Gare, a great friend as well as an award-winning Transformation and Mindset Coach and Trainer.

Kate’s bounced back from two episodes of burnout and survived heart failure.  She has personally learned the critical importance of resilience and importantly, how to build it.

As a burnout and resilience expert, she helps professional women to thrive, no matter what obstacles they face.

{Click on the podcast player above to listen to this episode and/or read on for a detailed blog. Scroll down to the bottom for the show notes and links}

kate gare resilience

Kate’s approach uses proven methods including the science of the mind-body connection, and positive psychology approaches.  Over the past 15 years, she has supported more than 1,000 women to climb back from burnout (or avoid it in the first place), so they can live happier, resilient lives and flourish.

As we are on the edge of a mental health crisis her work is even more needed. Kate believes passionately that everyone deserves to have agency in shaping a life they love.  She’s on a mission to support another thousand women to step into their own personal power in all areas of their lives.

Kate was recently awarded ‘The Most Empowering Life Coach 2020’ by Global Health and Pharma Publications for her work championing and supporting women.  She’s also the co-author of a new book ‘Energy: How to Unleash Your Inner Fire’.

What resilience isn’t, and what it is

Resilience is not the ability to take on more, and more.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity and challenging situations in a transformational way.  When talking about resilience it’s important to think about mental toughness, fortitude and strength and all the other things that enable people to thrive and flourish.

We’re born with a certain amount of resilience; the great news is, we can build it. Building resilience is a bit like depositing money into a bank account, you keep paying in and when you really need the money, you withdraw it.

What are the first signs of low resilience?

Understanding your ‘personal nudges’ which move you towards low resilience is key.  Personal nudges are individual to everyone and may include being unable to sleep, or switch off.

Kate knows that the latter is a nudge for her.  For example, if she finds herself thinking about work when she is spending time with her children, it’s time to act.

Practitioners are usually really good at ignoring their nudges as they want to support their clients.

There’s emerging evidence that practitioners can experience vicarious trauma as a nudge.  This happens when the balance between showing compassion and empathy, and generally taking onboard clients problems, is wrong.

The evidence also shows that newer practitioners are more likely to experience vicarious trauma.  They’re only just working out how to put professional boundaries in place and understand their role in the client relationship.

Kate recalls how she as a newly qualified practitioner used to lose sleep over clients’ issues.

Other signs of low resilience can include cancelling self-care, compassion fatigue and depersonalisation.

Steps to build resilience

Kate believes that creating a very solid and robust self-care practice is fundamental in building your resilience. You have to make it as important as all the other things in your life.

Kate has developed a diary for herself on Google which she calls ‘Nourishment’ and is all about her own self-care.

By understanding your personal stress signature, you can make changes when you need to.  Kate also recommends continually working on yourself, for example, by getting a coach to support you, or do more things that you really enjoy.

Kates favourite go-to, resilience booster

Kates go-to boosters are walking on the beach with a good friend, being playful with her children, or being outside in nature.

On a practical level, it’s important to have boundaries.  Kate has a separate mobile phone for work which is turned off outside office hours.  She also doesn’t answer emails when she’s not working.

Boosters, like all factors surrounding resilience, are individual, you need to work out what yours are.  Find out more about Kate’s work on resilience with the links below.

Podcast 44 show notes:

Find out more about Kate Gare and her work:

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